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So my waitressing career is O-VER. I gotta hand it to whoever does that for a living - because that is HARD work. And relatively thankless.
I've started the new job - and I'm terrified. I am used to being the brain trust for my projects. By the time I left Former Company - I had been there 8 years - and was the only person who'd consistently been on the project in that time. So I could remember when we'd done x in 2005 and why that didn't work etc. I knew every report that I need - every single thing that was going to work etc. Here - I am still trying to figure it all out and it's a bit disheartening. I keep trying to think "Well - if she was dropped into MY job - she'd have a struggle too right?"
And I talked to the girl I'm replacing about this - she was very supportive. Part of the struggle I'm having is that I don't have a place. I don't have my own office. I don't have my own phone/email or even COMPUTER fer cryin' out loud. And I guess the manager (who is the client - it's weird) told the girl I'm replacing "It would be good if Meghan was here at 8am - it would look better." Um - sure - I'd love to be there at 8 - BUT - I was told between 8:15 and 8:30 AND I have no computer. So if I got there at 8 am and Alison (who I'm replacing) didn't - what am I supposed to do? Besides - half the office seems to start their day by dropping off their things & then walking to the starbucks. If I'm coming IN to the office when you're going OUT of the office ---- whatever. I'm not complaining. I'd love to start at 8. I will start at 8. Although if I'm sitting there like a bump on a log - don't freak out.
(I did kind of make a comment about that to the manager today - he joked about it & I said "Man - I'd love to start at 8 - but I have no computer so I have to wait for Alison..." He said "Oh - I hadn't thought about that...")
I went for drinks with them all afterwork. They're all quite nice & funny etc. But... it takes time to fit into a new crew. And I was trying to walk the fine line between drinking (and being social) and not drinking (to maintain professionalism, to be able to drive home & not to be the drunk new girl). I succeeded. I had two guinness at the first bar, we walked to the second, where we ate dinner & I drank soda & lime the rest of the night. I like soda. It's bubbly. I like carbonation.
Heading to Pelee tomorrow. Miss my husband... This is going to be tough I think - this not being together a lot... le sigh.
Hats off to waitstaff. That's hard & I am hopeful that I don't have to do this for the rest of my life. Sure the cash is nice. But the backache, the feet that hurt and the "I could have SWORN you said just french fries - not fish too" bits - that you can keep.
I'm stuck on the mainland right now, the boat didn't run today. Okay they are predicting storm cells this evening - but there was an 8:00 boat that didn't go either. And there were no storm predictions at the time.
So poor Thatcher is stuck on the island by himself - and we're here. Pete is working here today & tomorrow.
Thatcher has spent his days sleeping under the blanket upstairs in the double-bed-room. There is just a cat sized lump under the blanket - quite cute.
We have our washer & dryer. But. We need some stuff to hook it up - and the guy who did our power - hooked us up with the wattage for a dryer - but not a washer. (Devon said "What did he think you were going to do? Beat your dirty clothes against a rock and THEN put them in the dryer?" We thought it would have made more sense to hook up just the washer & not the dryer - but then - if you were wiring one - why WOULDN'T you wire the other?)
Went to MARVIN today. Found out that it's possible to make your "call" on line for that... would have been nice to know that.... Also reminded me how stupid those people are over there. When I went last week to sign up for the No Worker Left Behind thing - they said "you need a stamped copy of your resume from our system in order to go to the orientation." Okay, I said - can I do that now, while I'm here?
No - they didn't have the staff to do that - I should come back later. Today I went there & they said "Why didn't you do it last week?"
DUH.
Then they had my name wrong (first & middle - as opposed to first & last).
But - I was able to sign up for the extra 11 weeks of unemployment AND check to see how many weeks I have left - which is handy - kind of wish I had that before...
It's been a hard week. I was supposed to start working on Tuesday - but then they said they weren't busy enough for another person so not to come - but to start Friday instead (tomorrow). So I've had NOTHING to do all week. I washed the floor. I've done dishes, I did clear out the fridge a bit. And I've cross stitched. Snooze-ville. Pete doesn't understand why having absolutely nothing to do is a problem - but it's just boring. And really - I came over here when I did so I could start work. And have some structure to my day. I have no structure.
Today is a better day because Pete called & asked me to bring coffee & cinnamon buns to the guys at the job site - so I actually got out of the house. Plus I went to the "Coop" (it's actually the "Co-op" - the little store - but when they put the sign up for the temporary place, they forgot the hyphen - so everyone just calls it the Coop now). The old Co-op was this dark, dingy, gray building that made you think every grocery item had been there since you were born. Seriously. This little temporary place is bright and airy - and everything looks clean and new. AND they'd just gotten a fresh produce delivery. It's amazing how wonderful the sight of a beautiful button mushroom is!
And I'm doing laundry at Dayne & Kristen's. We own a washer & dryer - but it's still at the store because we haven't gotten it over here yet. I didn't really need to do laundry but I had some of my fat quarters that I wanted to wash so I could get started on a quilt. Or something. Something to DO.
Thatcher is still a little freaked out by being here. He's feeling a little bit better about it - but he still thinks anyone who drives up to the house needs to be growled at. And he and Agatha have been having hissing fights through the screen door.
I haven't seen the snake - or much evidence of mice - lately. So I think that's a good sign. Pete says Thatcher is frightening them away - he then quickly adds "It's not like they know he's a chicken..."
Alright - time to switch my laundry I think.
Starts tomorrow! I can't decide if I'm excited or scared out of my WITS or both.
I called the post mistress today (to give y'all an idea of how things are on the island...) about a mailbox. She doesn't have voicemail or an answering machine - and delivers mail during the day so getting a hold of her is a bit tricky - but everyone I talked to said I needed to talk to her - she'd know what to do.
I finally caught her today. She said "Well, the green box by the bakery is full - but there is someone who isn't coming to the island for the summer so you can maybe have his - I'll call. Or - you could just put general delivery and I'll drop it off at the co-op... Or you could put up a mailbox...."
Um - okay. I get it's a rural community but shouldn't there be a more organized mail service than this?
Then I said "So - do I need a key and a lock for the box? Do I just get that at the hardware store?"
(get this) She said "Well - some people have HUGE locks - and some people use sticks. Just depends on what you want."
STICKS?
This is a little like adjusting to Ireland. When I had to go get my visa renewed at the police station (or I'd be kicked out of the country) and they said "Oh - you need to talk to Officer so & so... He's at lunch.... can you come back on Tuesday?" This is going to be weeeeiiiirrrd.
Other today happenings:
I'm pissed off at our vet. I called them on Monday to get some tranquilizers for the boat ride and she (Monica - insert eye roll here) says "Well, what about coming in for his shots?"
Okay, I said - (he must need shots if they said so) let's book that appointment.
This morning, I fought for 15 minutes and THREE pills to get him drugged up for this appointment - carefully timing it so it wouldn't be worn off by the time we got to the vet (too early a pill deliver will do this too) and hoping he'd still be drugged up for the ride tomorrow.
I get to the vet, early - wait for a while - get in the office and they say "Oh - he's already got all his shots."
Bastards.
I said "Well - can you trim his nails while we're here and he's already drugged?"
Sure, she says, with this bravado that clearly SHE knows what SHE is doing...
I said "Do you want the towel or the gloves?"
Nope - she said she'd "scruff him".
I thought "wow - here is a lady who isn't afraid!"
She tells me to get him out of the carrier.
I dump him out on the counter, he takes one look at her, hisses with all his little drugged up might and she reaches for his scruff.
He swipes at her and she says "Oh - I'm not going to get bitten today. We usually tank this kind... Do you want us to tank him?"
Let me see. I have a geriatric cat who is already on some tranquilizers and you want me to put him in a plexiglass tank so we can trim his nails?
No thanks.
Emotionally - I cannot handle "the tank". I cannot bear to put him in this plastic box where he can't really stand up. I can't stand the bedside manner when he comes out (they say "We'll just wait to see that he's breathing...." )
I just need a new vet. The vet himself is okay - although I do think he'd prefer the big-animal medicine (horses & the like) and the cats/dogs just pay the bills.
I miss our old vet in Rochester. Best.Vet.Ever. She used to play with Thatcher before treating him. They had separate dog & cat waiting rooms - they just loved him. And he loved them! He'd eat their treats while they were checking him out. They used to let him climb on the desk while I was paying. I miss them.
Aurgh.
So here is my dilemma. I have a 3:00 vet appointment with Mr. Thatcher (AKA - Cranky Pants). I have drugs to give him to knock him out. I know that one pill can hopefully knock him out for 24 hours- if it has time to take effect before we go to the vet. (meaning - at LEAST a hour). Learned my lesson last time when the pill just pissed him off and wound him up even more.
If I give him the pill at about noonish - it should last until about noonish the next day - which would be perfect, because I could give him the ONE pill and it would carry him over until he was on the island. (I don't know how he'd be on the long boat ride over to the island). I'm crossing my fingers because I don't want to have to give him a second one on Friday. That seems unfair. But really - can he go for the 45 minutes TO the boat + 1.5 hour boat ride without peeing? I don't know. I'm just hoping it works & my little man will be safely on the island Friday morning without any huge worries. I don't mind if he's party awake for the last little bit of the trip - but I do NOT want to have to knock him out again on Friday morning - two days in a row would make me a nervous wreck. He's really kind of scarey when I have to knock him out like this - his eyes roll in his head, he falls down stairs... it's really quite sad and I hate doing it to him. But he gets SO wound up at the vet that I have to knock him out. And the boat ride... well, he's usually a fairly good traveller once we get past the distance to the vets office - but it's a LONG boat ride (1.5 hours). We used to drive 1.5 hours - but it was with me in the car with him. And we haven't done that in a long time.
I'm also worried about the critters on the island. Primarily the snake - but maybe Thatcher will avoid him completely. The mouse - no biggie - Thatcher might be terrified of it - but he also might catch it. Who knows.
There are also the next door beasties - Kiera & Jake & Agatha. Kiera & Jake won't bother him - they probably won't see him and they are "so over" cats. Agatha (the kitty) on the other hand - has laid claim to me. She looooves coming over to the house and crying in the windows. Her parents kick her out of their house because if she doesn't get out during the day - she's rammy at night. So she gets the boot there and comes to my house.
I don't let her in (okay - I did once - and we napped together) but she thinks she should live in our house. So I'm not sure how Thatcher will take to this interloper.
And what do I do if I forget half my crap at THIS house?? What do I do if I run out of groceries? Ack!! I'm really quite nervous about this whole thing and Pete just keeps saying "It's an adventure. Just think of it as an adventure."
I don't know....
- Mood:
anxious
Okay - so let me set the scene. It's Saturday morning - we're getting ready for a big party for Pete's birthday (although he swears he did NOT plan to steal my birthday - which was on Sunday). I look over and there is a mouse sitting next to the wall. A little tiny mousie. I yelp. My mom says "What?" I said "MOUSE!!"
Mouse runs under the couch and we can't find him. I get on my hands and knees to look under the couch - fearful that said Mouse will run out, right for my face and I will need to consume large amounts of alcohol to recover. Mouse doesn't run out (phew). Mom picks up the lid of a box, Dad goes the other way to corner him. Dad corners him, steps on him, end of mouse. (Now, what exactly Mom's plan was with the box lid - we're not sure...)
Later, I say "Oh - I'll go get some lawn chairs." (They're in the closet under the stairs). I open the door. Snake. I slam the door and yelp again. Mom says "What? Another mouse?" I said "Nope. Snake."
I go to the door to get a man to deal with this. (Yes, I understand the irony of an independent woman looking for a man to deal with the snake - but seriously people - I have my limits!) Pete's out there, as is Dayne, Jay, Mike and I think my dad. Pete's afraid of snakes, Dayne is too. So I thought all would be lost. I said "PETE?"
All the guys turned around.
I said "There's a snake in the closet!"
Someone said "What kind?"
I said "I didn't ask for any id - he's just in the closet."
"In the closet?"
Yes, in the closet - a snake.
All the guys come into the house - with the exception of Dayne (all the ladies have now LEFT the cottage). Out comes Mike carrying a 3.5 foot long brown snake. He chucks it in the bushes. (Dayne ran behind a car).
I'm told that this is an Eastern Fox Snake and they're actually not "bad" snakes (not to mention, they're protected species). They eat all the mousies and what have you - so they're not bad to have around - just clearly not good to have in one's closet.
Sidenote: The Blue Racer snake is also a protected species - and people on the island hate them. See, if you find snake habitat on your property - you have to stop doing any sort of building, mowing of lawns etc. etc. So, people sometimes will clear the brush on property they don't really intend to do anything with - just so no snakes are found there. Before the protected species thing - the snakes weren't well loved of course - but no one really cared about them. They existed with the people and everyone moved on. Now that finding one on your property makes the property useless.... well, you can see how this goes for Mr. Blue Racer.
No one makes this kind of fuss over the Eastern Fox Snake - who is also protected.
Anyway - according to Wikipedia - they only get to be about three feet long. According to people on Pelee - they can be about 5 feet long.
YIKES.
The snake followed the mouse in - which explains why the little mouse didn't run back into the closet (where he had run to the night before). So - Pete needs to fix the hole in the house where the little bastards are getting in.
I was complimented later when I heard someone had said that I handled the whole snake incident quite well. No panic, just calmly stated there was a snake in the house. Of course - I don't want to be anywhere NEAR that closet. And I am wondering how Thatcher will respond to this whole nature thing. I thought it would be hard enough for him to deal with Agatha (the cat next door who thinks she should live at our house too) or Jake & Kiera (the English Mastiffs who live next door and also think our house is a fairly good place to lounge). But add a mouse to the mix - and a possible snake to the mix - how crow. I don't know how this will go.
I start (work) on Tuesday. I'm going to be waitressing and booking hotel rooms. I've never done either - so I'm a little nervous. But - I'm only doing days - so that's not so bad. And it's close to home, and it doesn't seem like it would be a LOT of hours (like - the place opens at 11 - so even if I worked until dinner - what is that - 7 hours maybe?) and sometimes they send you home early if they're not busy. So - we'll see how it goes.
Right - so, Job Fair. It was at Cobo (for those who don't know - Cobo Hall is where the Detroit Auto Show is held - it's a huge convention center that is clearly starting to show it's age - although I didn't see any buckets for leaks today)- apparently being hosted by Good Morning America.
Registration was from 6-10 am. I got into Cobo around 7 and the line was already snaking through Cobo hall. Lucky for me - I have a friend who was working the show - who got me in. Yes, I did jump the line - and that sucks - but really - I had NO advantage over the others who got there at 7. My advantage was over the people who were walking in when I left at 9:45. Seriously people. This is Michigan - unemployment is the highest in the nation - maybe want to try and get there early?
Anyway. I get in there, first thing I notice - was how they have the job fair squished over in one corner. There is room in the aisles between the booths for maybe - 7 people to stand side by side. Maybe. And some booths backed into other ones (instead of having all booth backs facing out like is the norm).
There were lines for nearly everything. So it was seriously congested. There was PLENTY of room in the space though (again - auto show space) but they crammed us all in. I heard that it was so the job fair would look busy when featured on tv - but it was really annoying. Also - not knocking it - but Avon, Pampered Chef, Mary Kay - should have been clustered together - and maybe set apart. Not mixed in. (I also found the "tomboy tools" set - all in pink - to be particularly offensive - because I'm a woman I need a pink hammer??) (And I think people were actually selling tupperware there - which was confusing).
Moving on. Most of the companies there - weren't in Michigan. I suppose I could move to Texas to be a Ranger (although I will NOT wear the dorky hat). Or move to Idaho for whatever thing THAT was - but really. No thanks. Also - Kelloggs (the cereal people were there) - with a "live" stuffed Tony the Tiger. That was a little off-putting. He was waving to people and handing out cereal. Were they aware that this was a JOB fair? Not a trade show?? And that some people don't like live sized cereal characters...
They had a "resume critique" section and I thought- oh okay - that's great. Always one to have a fresh set of eyes look at my resume. This woman - was.useless. I argued with her on some points - until I realized I didn't care what this woman was saying. I've discussed my resume with other HR people, my friend who does recruiting for Kelly - and this woman was crazy. Then she handed me her daughters business card - because her daughter does resume work. I'm sorry - was that just a sales pitch???
Also - where was Blue Cross Blue Shield? One of the biggest employers in the state hadn't even HEARD about the job fair. Ditto for Compuware (which is headquartered IN Detroit.) But hey - we had the Dallas Police... that's good right?
And finally - people smell. Especially when you're so close, you know what deoderant they're wearing (if any). Also - maybe you want to wear pants that actually COVER your ass at one of these things. And do NOT stop in the middle of a busy aisle way to fill out your application. Really - that is why they have chairs. This is why Detroit gets a bum rap.
Although - props to the gentleman I saw as I was leaving. The man was dressed well. he even had a bowtie on (and not a cheesy one - a cool one). He was impeccably dressed. I just hope he was willing to move to Texas, work retail 60 hours a week, or work his way through the company via sales.
It was disheartening. I kept thinking "Is it too early for a drink??"
This unemployment thing is something you cannot escape. Every morning you wake up and think "Oh - I have no job." Every time someone says "Oh finally - I have a day off!" You think "Must be nice to have something to have a day off FROM."
And as petty as it sounds - as I walked around today - running into ONE person I knew - I thought "Where are all the people who were useless when we were all together? Why don't THEY have to be here? Oh that's right - they have jobs."
I'm willing to work. I'm willing to learn. I can do anything. I'm adaptable. I'm a nice person. I'm easy-going, but I still demand a lot from my team (but in a completely reasonable manner - sometimes bringing them cookies etc as a please/thank you).
I just can't move.
And that bothers me.
(incidentally - I will be using this space to post about my life on a semi-desert island this summer).
- Mood:
discontent
Nope - this island has one grocery store (although I think it's being run out of someone's back porch currently). I'm TOLD there are videos available on the island - but it might just be what you can borrow from your neighbor. When I asked about library books to the island, the ladies in my library looked at me funny and said "Um - I think there is a library there - does anyone know?" and then they googled it. (there is, according to Google Gods - but no one I've talked to ON the island knows about it - they just hit the one on the mainland).
Should be an adventure. So - what does one take?
Our two TOP TOP TIPPY TOP priorities currently are internet and washer/dryer. The washer/dryer bit won't be hard. It's a matter of figuring out when they can deliver it. The internet is proving to be a challenge - but I will not be without. I'd almost rather just skip the whole phone thing in favor of the internet. (but I won't - I will have some phone dealio there - even if it means taking my US cell to the otherside of the island once a day to check messages.)
Other than that - I'm taking my sewing machine & thread, plus books relating to crafting. Just in case. I'm taking my knitting & possibly my smallish yarn stash. I'm taking the fabric I know I want to use for projects I have in my head. I'm taking my dictionary - because, well - you just never know. I'll also take Pride & Prejudice - because sometimes - you just need to read it again.
I'm taking my cross stitch stuff - because I'm about 85% done with a large project & want to finish it.
I'm taking my work out stuff - because I'm determined to still work out. Don't know if I'll be doing The Cult on-line or just trying to schedule my weigh in times with my grocery/library runs.
I'm planting a garden over there too...
I'm a little freaked out by the whole thing - to be honest with you. What if I hate it - what if I want to come home - what if I get a job and then only see Pete on weekends again? (wouldn't that be nice? the "to have a job" part I mean...)
le sigh.
- Mood:
pensive
Which would mean a set back. Also - I stopped the running. I wasn't really liking it. I did talk to my aerobic instructor about running & she had some good tips for it - but I just haven't followed through with them.
I did go to spinning last night - which kicked my ASS. Seriously. My friend Kelly convinced me to drop in (and 4.25 - how could I not?). The instructor is young & cute (so it's good eye candy) but his music was SO DAMN LOUD I couldn't even hear his directions as he called them out. So I don't know that I'd go back (and if I do - I certainly won't sit right in front of the speakers...)
And I still don't have a job. I mentioned to my mom (remind me never to do that again) that I had thought about nursing. Looked into it a little - but there are a lot of prereqs that I'd probably suck at. She has a friend whose daughter is a Nursing Assistant (trained through the red cross) and has a job. So now Mom thinks I should do it. And part of me thinks "Well - why the hell not? Nurses are in high demand right now - why NOT do something that is useful and in demand?" But then part of me wonders if I WANT to be a nurse - or if Ijust want a job. And I do want a job. I don't know about nursing. It's not something that ever ever went through my head as something I wanted to do. And I know a nursing assistant wouldn't be a nurse - or anything close to it to be honest with you. But it would show me what to expect I think. And if I could get a job (even making $20,000 less than I was) it's still more than I'm making now right? And maybe then I could get them to pay for nursing school?
I don't know - I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up....
So yay for the Canuks. (interesting to note - Pete's last girlfriend before me had the same birthday - so he's only had to remember ONE birthday for the 10 years we've been together and the 1.5 they were together before that. Lucky sap got off easy no?)
Anyway - so my goal.
I am 14.8 lbs away from having lost 50 lbs total. So I would like to think that in the next two months - I can lose those 14 lbs. And that is what I'm going to work towards.
This means - drinking minimally. Exercising maximally. Stepping up the running program just a hair. I am doing the Couch to 5K thing and am on week 3 of that - so I'm going to keep doing that - keep working hard on that. My sister - who is doing the biggest loser thing at her gym - says she runs at 5.0 on the treadmill - I run at 4.1, maybe 4.2 - she thinks it's easier to run faster. I'm not convinced- but perhaps I'll try it today. I also noticed I run up & down instead of moving forward- which I think is just the hazard of the treadmill you know?
Also - it's going to be tank top season shortly - so I need to focus attention on my arm flab. I don't think it will go away in 8 weeks - but maybe it will be less flabby in 8 weeks. Also - really want to focus on my belly. When I was in college - during the summer, my mom & I would go to the Y and work out. We'd walk there - work out, and walk home. And during one summer - I actually had that little line showing up on my belly from toned abs. I did about 100 crunches every day, on each side & in the middle. I want that line back. I at least want less of a pooch.
So - to sum up:
Lose 14 lbs by May 24th.
Tone up Arms
Reduce Pooch on Belly.
Be able to run a 5K by Birthday (I'm kind of on track for that as it is anyway. Like to put something on the list that is low-hanging fru
I love how the
moonlight rests
silently on your
bare skin.
I love your face
flushed like that of
a newly awakened toddler.
Sometimes, I wake in
the middle of the night
to watch you sleep, your
chest softly
rise and
fall.
Your eyelids buttoned shut
for the night.
I curl back into you
and smile.
Lulled to sleep by
the rhythm.
thanks to Henna for giving me the electronic nudge about my slacking!
Mostly - my mind is focused on two things right now.
Getting a job.
Moving to the island.
If A, then no B.
If no A, then B.
So - I have a phone interview on Tuesday - which I'm fairly geeked about. It's for a company that was kind of a competitior to my company - but this other company managed to get clients outside of the Automotive Industry. Whereas my company didn't. So this company I'm talking to on Tuesday actually called me about setting up an interview. Yes, I sent (and send) my resume in to every single posting they have that is even remotely interesting - but they called ME. Which I think is good. So - fingers crossed it leads to something.
If that goes well - then all Pelee bets are off for me - and I'll be living the single life all summer. Pete is going to be on the island starting in May I think - and I don't think he'll come home that often. So - it would be up to me to mow the lawn, make sure the house doesn't fall down etc - and see him on weekends. This isn't that bad for us - I mean, we dated for four years like this - only seeing each other on the weekends. But it will still be tough.
I'm determined - however - to look at it as my time to work out like a crazy person in the evenings, eats lots of tofu (which Pete hates) and lose weight. And I'd still be able to go to weight watchers every week.
If I'm on Pelee this summer - I've been planning what to take & where to leave the car etc.
Pete - typical male fashion - thinks we'll only need to bring some clothes. But I know this won't be possible. First of all - if I'm over there - it means that a lot of meals will be cooked in that kitchen. Like - A LOT. I've been cooking at home every day and I would plan to do that there. If the guys come home for lunch or not - that remains to be seen - but I would still need a good collection of pots, pans, the food processor,
Then there is "all the other stuff". Thatcher would clearly be coming with us - so I would need to bring all his stuff over (thankfully - this means less than it used to - since he has a litter box over there now). A sewing machine & all the crap associated with that. The computer, clearly. And then all the food. There is a grocery store on the island - but it's about the size of my house. Actually - one floor of the house. So I do plan to buy in bulk at Costco & bring stuff over.
Also - I would need to come back here every week to mow the lawn and make sure the house didn't burn to the ground. Which would also mean I could go to Weight Watchers - I could do grocery shopping that day etc.
If I move to the island - what will I do for a phone number on my resume? My cell barely works over there. There is a spare phone (blue phone) that I could use - but it would mean that the phone number on my resume would be Canadian. Of course, very few people use the phone as my first contact with them. Only one has really.
Hmmmm.
Anyway. So - I finished knitting my sister a hat last night. I'm rather pleased with myself. Even though this is the third hat I've made from this pattern - it's different than the other two. I changed up how I decreased the stitches at the top - and it made the most adorable little flower at the very tip top of the hat. As I was making it - Pete said "HEY! Why don't you make those & sell them at Pelee fest??"
I said I had thought about it - but I would have to make a fair number of them between now & August. Of course- I probably have TIME for that on the island this summer. And there is a stitch & bitch on the island on Wednesday nights too.
I've been thinking about a quilt too - but haven't gotten around to plotting it out. I was thinking of squares with flip flops on a sandy colored background - but I'm not sure yet... it's still in my head.
Thatcher is going to the vet in the morning... I think he's starting to get wise to it too. I asked Pete to pull the carrier out of the spot under the stairs - so he did - but he brought it upstairs - instead of just pulling it out of the closet. Thatcher saw it & was a little nervous - but then he got in it. Now he's just avoiding it. I got permission to drug him for the visit. I know that won't give them a good heartbeat - but they won't be able to get a good heartbeat off Mr. Growly Pants anyway...
Also - I'm debating a massage this week. I have one scheduled for Tuesday morning - but I have a feeling it's going to be be a "relaxing" massage - as opposed to a "Let's work this kink out of your shoulder" massage - which is what I wanted. So I don't know ... I'll probably keep the appointment.
Well - that's all!
I've been hanging out with my boyfriend though - Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. I rented the first season of the Tudors to watch while working out. Yeah - if Henry the 8th looked that good in real life? I'd have risked my neck for eatin' crackers in his bed. Phew.
There is just something about dark haired (not to mention well built) men. I have found myself lusting after him, John Cusak and Colin Firth this week. But Pete? Is a red head. And not built like Mr. Ryhs-Meyers.
But that's okay - I'm not built like 7 of 9 (from Star Trek) either - so all is fair in love & war I guess. Although he does say he always liked dark haired girls (with big boobs) - and that is more closely aligned with what he got.
Um - what else?
I should spend my days crafting. I need to make the starburst mirror already so I can hang it on the wall. I'm tired of starting big projects - getting hung up on one little thing & not finishing. This mirror thing - I'm supposed to be using silver leaf on the wooden skewers and it's NOT working. I think the sizing is getting sucked up in the wood. But you know - I still have to DO this. So I should just get on it already.
Today - when I went to post this to y'all - I decided to confirm my theory that the laptop still hates me - and typed a letter on the keyboard. It worked. Damn computer. So we have a brand spanking new computer on the truck as I type this - and a semi functional one already. Blast.
Oh well.
So what's new? Nothing.
The weather is finally warm here - so I'm planning on opening up the house & giving it a good airing out/cleaning. I read a magazine article that said I should start my spring cleaning (ha ha - like I do that) now - and I could start by washing the walls.
Washing the walls? Well that's interesting. I've never washed a wall. I mean - sure, I give the molding a good scrub when it gets dingy where someone rests his hands - and I guess I've wiped down a wall prior to painting but washing the actual WALL? This is interesting. I'm sure my grandma (no one cleans house like a Polish grandma) washed walls but I've never done it. And I've never seen my mom do it.(Mom doesn't clean like a Polish grandma - although she's not a grandma - so maybe that is why?) I'm not sure if I'm going to do it or not yet. I'm intrigued though...
Crafts - I'm knitting a gauge for a baby viking hat for little Mr. Ben (for next year - Auntie Meggo isn't that on the ball).
I still have to finish my purse that I started a while ago. I've done the outside, done the lining, just need to put them together & to add handles, the zipper - and figure out if I can do a pocket or not.
Also - I still have those crepe paper flower kits that I bought on clearance at Michaels a while back. I want to make those. Martha had someone on the other day who made HUGE ones (like, the size of my head) and was offering them up for $47. I could make them. I could make them and sell them for that! Yay!
Internet - I was planning on starting some basic web design training when I got the new computer. (I figured it would run faster - which would be nice. I often find myself wondering how far I could throw this computer...) So I might start that today - possibly tomorrow.
Workouts - I have been good about this. I didn't work out yesterday or Friday - but every other day this past week - I did workout. Even when I skipped my aerobics class. That aerobics class is tough! I keep wanting to take the arms & abs class immediately after - but I'm so tired at the end of the first class - I just want to go home.
I tried on some clothes recently - that have been in my closet. I ended up giving away a few shirts, I think a skirt. (A skirt which bummed me out because it's a cute skirt that I didn't wear because it had beading on the edge so it needed to be for a dressy thing - and then it was too big). I tried on some clothes yesterday. The white dress pretty well fits - of course, it's totally summer & where does one wear a white dress? I tried on a black knit dress that I've had for years - think I'm giving that one away. I'm going to need to buy new summer clothes I think. I doubt my size 18 shorts (which were a little big last summer) will fit now. And tshirts - I need to do something about those things. I'm thinking of seeing if I take them in or not. I would hate to have to buy all new shirts (that's a lot of shirts...)
I should make an appointment to take Mr. Thatcher to the v-e-t. Don't tell him though - I'm going to try and sneak him there. He needs to get his talons trimmed. I would do it - but if I even touch his foot - he pulls away. He's SO not going to let me trim the talons. I might get the vets to show me how to properly do it (because that freaks me out) so that I can maybe enlist Pete's help... (although he really hates cat-wrangling)
I'm going to try and be better about posting.... I swear.
- Mood:
blah
Whatever. I'm here. That's what matters... I guess.
So - Toledo. Here is the deal. I got a call yesterday from the "talent" agency (think temp agency for marketing & creative types - they do stuff nationwide so if you're interested in knowing more - let me know). They have a position, it's with a stable company, completely NOT automotive, but they're looking for an interactive project manager. (Which I can be). Sounds great. Salary is in the range that I'm used to. Problem is - it's in Toledo. TOLEDO. As in, Ohio. Remember - I live in Canada. So I go on google & it looks like it would be about a hour to a hour & a half long commute (although I'm thinking of actually DRIVING it one day just to see what it really is). I've seen 1.5 hours & 1 hour & 19 minutes.
When I worked in Troy - my commute was about a hour & it was 35 miles. So - it's not like I'm not USED to crazy-ass commutes. In fact, now that Sir Ipod is speaking to me again, I could theoretically get a lot of reading done in the car. But hello? TOLEDO?
At the same time, there is an administrative position open in one of the local municipalities. I'm not an admin - I was never really EVER an admin - but. It sounds like more than answering phones and sitting at a front desk. Which is good - because I always hated that. It's more of a job that's doing administrative stuff, drafting correspondence etc. I have a friend in one of the other local municipalities who said she'd put in a good word for me - so that's nice.
It's a LOT less money. Like - $20,000 (if the exchange rate was dollar for dollar) than what I was making & what the Toledo position would come in at.
BUT. It's 8-4:30, Monday through Friday. I think it would take me MAX a half hour to get there (if I stopped for coffee along the way). And there is a pension (but whatever, I don't think this would be a forever job). Insurance - in Canada.
What scares me most about that job though though (the local one) is it's completely off any sort of career track that I've been on. I guess, if it came down to it and I was working there but interviewing anyway - and if someone said "So - what's with this admin position? It's a step sideways - why did you take it?"
I can always say "Because it was offered. Because I'd been unemployed for two months & it was offered. I needed a job."
But oh - how wonderful to be THAT close to home! Oh my gosh! It would be so thrilling to have such a ridiculously short commute - and to be able to get to know people in the area!
It doesn't matter - at this point - neither has been offered to me so it's a non-issue. Hell- I haven't even gotten an interview.
The ironic thing about Toledo - when Hubby was dragging his feet proposing to me (but making me go house hunting with him anyway) I remember telling people "If he doesn't step up by April (when my lease was up) - I'm moving... to.... Toledo!"
It was far enough away that I would be able to get away from him - but still close enough to family.
And I used to work programs in Toledo too - I think it didn't seem THAT far... I almost got a cat in Toledo - poor thing was outside a gas station.
I don't know.
I don't know.
- Mood: pensive
I realized yesterday that I'm very prone to panic. Get myself in a seemingly easy to fix situation & my first instinct is to panic and call someone. After explaining the problem - and swearing up one side & down the other that none of their suggestions will work - I snap at them and then end the conversation. Then I usually figure it out and feel like an ass. Add to this, increased heart rate, sweating, swearing & stomping of feet.
Case in point. Yesterday. I went for a walk to the hill-that-is-out-to-get-me. I do love this park - BUT - Tuesday, it tried to kill me by having me fall on it (and land on my back, head hit pavement, knocked off my hat - felt like an ass, but otherwise fine).. I decided to give Hill-out-to-get-me another try. So I parked the car, went for my 45 minute walk.
Came back to car. Stuck in the mud/ice.
Stuck
Can not get out
stuck
It's by now, about 5, it gets dark around here around 5:30. No cars in the make shift parking lot (it's not paved, hence the stuck part). No cars likely to come up there - because of the dark bit. Cars passing by, but no one slowing down etc. Houses in the area, not close, not that great an area.
Damn hill.
I call Pete. "I'm stuck."
Now, in retrospect, it WAS silly to call him. He was on the island. Not like he could come home early to rescue this damsel in panic-mode.
I tried rocking the car, didn't work. I tried swearing. Didn't work. Smacking steering wheel? didn't work. Neither did whine-ing about or stomping my feet (seriously, why doesn't that work??)
Pete suggested I stop someone, go to a neighbor or call someone. I said "I did call someone - I called you."
He suggested I put gravel under the tire. Gravel. If I had been ON gravel? I would not be in this predicament.
He said to let him think of who to call. I snapped at him and we hung up.
I found a stick - put it under the offending tire. Nope. I put said stick in FRONT of offending tire - couldn't decide if going forward or backwards would be better but decided moving would be nice.
Pete called back, said he had someone on their way, but it would be 20 minutes.
Fine.
In the meantime, I found a plethora of stick like things and decided to put them under BOTH front tires. In front of the tires and behind. Big sticks. Good sized sticks.
And it worked.
Called Pete, who called off the troops.
And I drove home. Vowing to avoid that damn hill until The Thaw. I could park in the parking lot, sure - but this doesn't change the fact that it's really ice-y up there. I do have shoe things that supposedly grip the ice - but still - I'm liable to fall on clear, dry pavement in the dead of summer. Go on a hill, even with grip-y things, when it's icey? Yeah - I don't think so.
There IS a reason I'm not allowed to go ice skating by myself (someone needs to be able to drive me to a hospital).
I finished The Year of Fog - sometime after The Walk Incident. It was good, suspenseful, gripping. Wish it had ended slightly differently.
I worked on Mansfield Park last night. MAN that's a hard read. It's a lot of poetic, flowery language to get to the point - and I'm a lit major!! BUT - I'm nearly done. And I'll admit - I peaked ahead to see how it ended. I do not like Fanny though - she's too much of wimp for my tastes. Much prefer Elizabeth Bennet.
Cleaned out the linen closet yesterday too - woo-hoo!! Now you can go in there and nothing will fall on your head!
Still have to figure out what to do with a lot of the prescription drugs we had that expired. Don't want to just pitch them - but what to do, what to do. (Pharmacy I figure - same place I'll take the old needles).
I might want to add another shelf or two to that closet too. There is a huge empty space at the top and the bottom & I could really use it to clear stuff off the floor.
Must clean the house up today. It's a bit of a mess again (at least the kitchen is).
There appears to be a shortage of leeks in the Windsor area right now. I've hit my grocery store THREE times in about 5 days for them, and hit another grocery store to find one bunch of wilted ones (line was WAY too long for some crappy leeks). I wanted to make cream of spud & leek soup. Am hoping that green onions might do the trick? Or maybe I'll roast/brown the onion to bring out some of it's sweetness? I'm not sure.
If I'm STILL not employed by summer (god help us all) - Pete has decided I should run a hot dog business on Pelee. Driving around on a bike, selling hot dogs to tourists. I suggested maybe no- but he's pretty set on it. If he gets this gig on Pelee -he'll be there all summer and if I still don't have a job, we will most likely be packing up the family (the two of us and the cat) and moving over there for the summer. But we shall see. I wouldn't have a phone or (gasp) internet over there and that might just kill me. No contact with the outside world?? ACK!!
But - if I'm not employed by summer - I would like to completely do a garden this year. Because I would have time to baby it - to weed it, to water it etc. And to have ripe veggies, to be able to properly stagger them so we'd have fresh lettuce all summer long (minus any for the damn rabbits) - that would be LOVELY.
But I'd rather have a job.
In the meantime - I am crafting. I am SO close to finishing the other christmas stocking cap. Then I can start in on some coffee cozie sleeves. I'll do up a few, send one to my sister, send one to a girl I used to work with (in hopes that she can crow about how wonderful they are & how everyone needs one -because that's what she did when we worked together). And maybe throw a few on Pelee for sale at the art works. Thought the same for a quilt. Have some fat quarters that I could make a SUPER bright quilt out of.
Or I could use them for cup cozies... hmmmm. Might need to get some tea from Tim's to test this theory (or a misto from St*rbucks...)
- Mood:
artistic
I've been spending so much time trying to get through Thanksgiving, a holiday party, the holidays - and... now what? What do I do now? I know, look for a job. Yes, I get that. But - I am looking & I don't know if I'll find anything.
And in the meantime - there is still this HUGE tug for me - to have babies. I was at my mom's today & my cousin & his instant-family was there. (Seriously - I haven't seen them in about three years & now they have three little people running around). And I want that. I want that so badly. And I keep thinking - maybe Canada pays for that. Maybe the insurance I have now - will cover that. So I need to look into this. I know now isn't the "time" to do any of this. But - really what is? And let's say, by some miracle, I get pregnant by - let's say summer. If I also - by some miracle - get a job, then fine. So I won't get much maternity leave - but I'll have a baby. Which, let's face it - is way bigger of a wish than a job - right?
Which is another thing. I'm getting awfully used to not working.... I mean, I'm bored out of my gourd, but it is nice in a way. I don't want to get too used to it.
And I'm thinking of volunteering. Humane Society (if I think I can handle it). Literacy advocacy if I can't (altho I know that has a training program to it...)
And maybe adoption. I mean, that's still a possibility I think. Even though one of us is not employed.... I don't know. I don't want to think this window of being a mom is being ruined by the damn economy.
Oh - and I successfully stopped my dad from spouting off about Barack at my house when he (my dad) was here for Christmas. Told him "Hey - I heard enough about this at Thanksgiving - find something else to talk about or I will find it for you". I was unable to get him to stop handing out "3 cent bills" with Barack's picture on them though. (apparently my dad thinks our whole economy is going into the ground now because of Barack) (someone should maybe remind him that Barack isn't the president right now & it still blows.)(But whatever, I'm a woman - what thought could I possibly have formed in my head, especially since I've been so wrong before, not being an Uber Republican & all).
And their friends headed out. In the meantime, it was July & August. And August especially - can be brutal in Michigan. (sometimes it can be 50 degrees F in July - but August is almost always brutal). 100% humidity, hot, ick, nothing grows..
The original settlers then must have thought "Well, maybe we should warn our friends?" But their friends were already on their way. And then it's winter. Cold, brutal, snowy, pretty - if you're inside bundled up with central heat - but clearly those originals weren't. And I wouldn't even want to think about having to go outside to pee. (My sisters dog doesn't even like to).
Then spring came, half the original settlers had died off due to the winter & by then the new people were there. And the new people looked around, declared it heaven on earth - sent word to their friends - and the whole thing started over. Eventually, we had enough people who didn't die right away. And then we invented insulation, central heat, etc.
And that is what I think happened.
But Michigan is not without its charms.
I have to go to the grocery store today (oh brother). I need to get food type supplies for Christmas Eve (it's just Hubby & I - but I want to do something slightly "traditional" even if it's just our tradition), Christmas Day (having my family over) and Boxing Day (going to his family with veggie tray and some dessert thing).
Our grocery store is a bit of a megalomart these days - it has everything from clothes to hardware to grapes. So I'm going to try on one of their pairs of jeans. They're only $20 - and my jeans are way big on me right now. They're comfy - but if you look like you're wearing your big brothers jeans - maybe it's time for new ones.
I also have to weigh in today I think. My "new" day for that is Thursdays - but I can't this week - so I have to find a way to do that. I want to do it today because we're going to a holiday party tonight & I want to make sure that I have a number in my head before I go to that party.
I'm not losing weight over this holiday season (I don't think) but I'm also not gaining a lot. The pound+ I gained last week is gone I think. I still haven't changed that beginning digit yet - but I'm closing in on it. If I can make it through the holidays, I should be able to shake that number by Valentine's Day easily. (It's only 7 lbs).
Right - I'm outta here.
(I am going to try to post more, it seems to make me less frazzled - if only I could find the cord to hook the camera up - I could show you my life).
- Mood:
busy
It started a few years ago when at the same time, my boss decided I should very nearly get fired (I wasn't & we went on to work well together - but it was a bad time all around) and my favorite sister (and favorite person) was diagnosed with Leukemia. Hubby told me he'd planned to propose that holiday season but I was "being a bitch" so he decided to wait. And for some reason, this is a really hard time of year for me.
I don't know if it's because it gets dark so damn early. I don't know if I feel cooped up in the house because it's so damn cold out there. I don't think it's the pressure to buy "the" perfect gift - because Hubby & I have stopped buying each other gifts, and my family has also opted out of gift giving for the past few years. I don't think it's the stress of family dinner because most years, it's not at my house (this year it is - but it's 5 people, including Hubby & I - and Mom is bringing the turkey). I don't think it's the fact that Christmas seems to be all about the little people - and I don't have any. I've hated the holiday long before I knew it would be next to impossible to have my own little people.
I just HATE this time of year. And this year seems to have sealed the deal. I wake up every morning, knowing I don't have a job. Not knowing where to find one. Not knowing when I'll find one. I know that unemployment technically cannot last forever - even during the Depression it didn't last forever, people eventually found work somewhere. But it seems like it is lasting forever. I have never been unemployed - not since I started working anyway.
And I don't know where that next job is. Is it on a crazy job search board? I don't know. Is it on Craigs List? Doesn't appear to be. The paper? Nope. Is it in the call a guy at a party made yesterday to his brother who works in the US? Maybe, but it seems odd.
It makes me crazy.
For the last few weeks, I've been planning for the party. We were having a bunch of friends over yesterday, which was great. It was good to see people. It was great to have them all at my house. But I've been so in "planning" mode for so long - that I'm looking for my next "project". What can I look forward to next? I guess it's having dinner with the family - because I have to do that on Christmas Day (and I need to buy stuff for it now that my fridge is empty again). And then it's new years. But I'm so tired of thinking in terms of milestones just to get me through to the next thing.
And Best Gal was planning on coming to the party with BestBean - and I have his xmas pressie ready & everything - and they were a no show/no call. And that makes me sad & disappointed.
I'm just blue today & I don't know what will make me unblue.
I thought about going to my moms to hang out with my sister - but it's nearly 1 already. By the time I get over there it will be nearly 2 - and then I'll have to stay for dinner - and I don't know if I want to. I still haven't worked out today (or yesterday, or Saturday) . I drank myself silly yesterday (all wine, no food = no good). I dunno.
- Mood:
depressed
I've been trying to dissolve Thanksgiving dinner. I'm not sure I'm there yet though - but here is the post about it.
My dad and uncle are reeeeallly conservative. Like, "George Bush is too liberal" conservative. My uncle has, in the past, been really angry that his local store is putting up signs in Spanish -because English is the official language and "those people" should just learn it already. (and he doesn't like me pointing out that English isn't the official language - and does it really hurt him in some way to learn how to say socks in Spanish?)
Anyway, Hubby was really excited to sit down with these two. Hubby was really involved in the election this year. He watched all the debates, the press conferences etc. And he was coming at it from a completely outsider perspective, so it was interesting to watch HIM watch the election. Really excited to talk to my dad & uncle about it. He was convinced they both would have voted for Obama - how could they not? (Seriously - I'm not surprised that they didn't).
We made them all go sit in another room for their political talk - mostly for me I think. Because the family knows I can't stand listening to it. They do NOT listen to any other opinion - and have somehow decided that women don't have opinions worth listening to etc. Whatever, I avoid them.
We sat down for dinner and my uncle brings up this great book he's reading. It's by a Muslim woman who is claiming that ALL Muslims are looking for the opportunity to put "us" in our place - even if they don't know it yet. Even if they're living here, all Muslims are really against "us".
Then my dad talks about how "they" (meaning the Muslims) - have been like this their entire history. That they go into a country, rape their women, take over their land until they get pushed out. They've been doing this for centuries. I said "So - like the Romans did? I mean, they went into various countries, raped the women, took over the land and moved on to other countries? And how the American did to the Native people? Giving them smallpox? Pushing them on to reservations - kind of like that? EVERY civilization has does this at one point or another."
Apparently no - THIS is different because it's the Muslims, because THEY are out to get us. Well - at least we're not overgeneralizing here.
What baffles - and really disturbs - me about this whole thing is I feel like I don't even know these people. Growing up, I feel like I was really lucky to grow up in a really diverse crowd. From 3rd-6th grade - the school I went to had everyone in it. I can't even really tell you "what" they were - because they were just the kids in my class. I knew some were Jewish because I went to their Hanukah parties. I knew some had parents who came from Pakistan maybe, or India. I knew one girl had gotten to go swimming in the Dead Sea when her family went to Israel on vacation. One girl was adopted from Korea. One girls mom was British. One girls parents were Mexican. One kids grandparents owned the last residential house on the C&O canal - which would revert to the parks department when they died. We had every kid in our class. And it was great. No one was "fill in the nationality/religion/ethinc background". They were just Talia, Jimmy, KC, Tehmina, Sadia, Yameen, Rebecca & Diana. Just the kids I went to school with.
The next move after that was to Michigan. And I remember being just amazed at how different things were. I remember coming home, probably in the 7th grade, and asked my mom was a Chaledean was. Someone had called someone else that - and I had no idea what it was. (I'm still not entirely sure, but I think it's someone from Lebanon who is Catholic?) And I remember musing that everyone had labels. I didn't think it was just your average "Now we're in 7th grade so everyone gets a label". I went back & visited the kids I went to 3rd-6th grade with - and they were all pretty much the same. They were all mostly still friends (although people still didn't like Erika), some were in different junior highs - but they all knew each other still.
And now, listening to my dad & my uncle - I'm embarrassed by their bigotry. I'm embarrassed that everyone is "something". Is it more convenient that everyone fit in these neat little categories? Does it save them from having to get to know anyone? I'm most amazed by my dad - since we lived a lot of different places, we got to know a lot of different people from tons of different backgrounds. When did he get to be so ignorant.
Hubby says not to get too freaked out by it - that his dad got weird as he got older too. But it just bothers me. I don't think I want to share a meal with these two again. I told my friend (whose family dinner we went to last year) that I would MUCH rather have been at her family meal again this year - and that to keep me in mind for next year.
